No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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