I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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