You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
