If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
