I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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