I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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