Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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