Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
