now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
