She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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