Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
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My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
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She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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