Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
