why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Everyone says I win the strip club
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
