What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
well I can't set my house on fire every night
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize