He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Well I just put wine in my tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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