the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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