you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
