oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
