Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I need water and some morals
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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