It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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