he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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