Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
