she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
