i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
