the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
So vagazzling was a success
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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