i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize