Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
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dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
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I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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