This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
