ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
