you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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