We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
