that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
