Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
