This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
