You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
