Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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