Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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