There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
