when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
