You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
