Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You made out with two different species that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize