just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
