The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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