You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
