why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
