his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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