I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
