Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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