Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
