So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
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