I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
