i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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