Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
