So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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