Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
