community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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