ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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