who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
