dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
