Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
did i just pee glitter
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
