ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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