I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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