i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
