did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize