I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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