she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I'm having to shit out rocks
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